“Wait, So is this a night out together?” Podcast Episode 202: Boundaries | Autostraddle

Dating back I’m able to bear in mind, I’ve constantly desired to speak about sex. (cue “Rags to wealth”) According to my mom, I’d ask questions about sex from a tremendously young age as soon as she said to inquire about again as I ended up being older, I would ask once more 24 hours later saying,

theoretically

, I was older. Long before we started internet dating and achieving sex, intercourse and matchmaking happened to be the quintessential fascinating dialogue subjects for me. And additionally they nevertheless are!

But as I’ve cultivated earlier I’ve also discovered that some elements of my own existence are more effective kept private. I was never ever crass — it’s just for myself I’ve discovered that even though someone desires read about living, it isn’t really always in my own best interest to share with you. I have was required to find out limits.

Today some people are contrary. Many people haven’t been rapid to express details of their own individual life. Actually people who find themselves actively online dating and actively selfish love to hold that things to by themselves. I am fascinated with these folks. Absolutely nothing tends to make me register just how differing people are like realizing deeply into a friendship that we barely know anything about just who someone is actually dating or screwing easily learn they are not ace or aro.

One such pal is actually Autostraddle’s editor-in-chief Carmen Phillips. Now once we’ll discuss, Carmen is my employer here at Autostraddle in order that clarifies several of her boundaries. But actually outside the friendship, Carmen acknowledges that she actually isn’t rapid to talk about details from her personal life. Christina and that I enter this with Carmen even as we all analyze that after you are looking at limits our very own skills are the weak points and all of our weaknesses tend to be the skills.

And before that people perform our traditional video game “Fuck, U-Haul, Ghost” — but a special edition where Christina requires myself about my favorite actors from Letterboxd.


SHOW RECORDS

+ Raven-Symoné’s
crazy gay TikTok
.


+ here is my Letterboxd listing,
Actors That Have “It”
.

+ We don’t have many show records nowadays so listed here is the best film from every actor Christina questioned me personally in regards to.

Angela Bassett –

Malcolm X


Joan Crawford –

Johnny Guitar


Bette Davis –

The Little Foxes


Kirsten Dunst –

Marie Antoinette


Jane Fonda –

They Capture Horses, Cannot They?


Anne Hathaway –

Rachel Getting Married


Katharine Hepburn –

Bringing-up Baby


Anna Paquin –

Margaret


Susan Sarandon –

Thelma and Louise

+ You’ll be able to at this time have the brand-new Criterion model of

Mississippi Masala

half-off at Barnes & Noble
.

+ In addition while i cannot in great conscience advise the movie

3 have always been

, i really do recommend viewing
the initial five full minutes
when Sarita Choudhury has been a hot mean mommi manager.



Christina:

Really, easily understand our visitors and listeners, they are going to say, “Yes, we also realize personal stress and anxiety.” I think you’re in great business here in this.


Carmen:

It really is in the queer individual starter equipment. It is right there.


[theme song plays]


Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.


Christina:

I Am Christina.


Drew:

And this is

Wait, Is This A Night Out Together?


Christina:


Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?

Is actually an Autostraddle podcast focused on the singular question, hold off, is it a romantic date? And that is to say this’s about matchmaking and being homosexual and items that we love, correct?


Drew:

Yeah. Wow. In my opinion we performed that actually beneficial to this being all of our second episode straight back, it decided we have been tracking attacks continuous for some years and really in a flow, actually in a rhythm, truly heading.


Christina:

Yeah. They give me a call the Ira Glass of gay podcasting.


Drew:

I believe they should.


Christina:

I don’t know, imagine.


Drew:

Hey, hey Christina. You are the Ira Glass of gay podcasting. Now somebody said it, individuals are claiming it.


Christina:

Men and women are saying it. I found myself browsing make an effort to do an Ira Glass perception, I quickly mentioned, “how come that to yourself, to anyone?”


Drew:

As your pal, I’m going to maybe you have accomplish that off-recording very first, and we could take it for after that occurrence when we realize you can do it well.


Christina:

I currently can tell you There isn’t it. I Actually Do not have that impression in bag, but hey, We can—.


Drew:

Maybe towards the end on the season. period? Yeah. Okay. Let’s say who the audience is. I’m Drew Gregory, i will be a writer for Autostraddle and a filmmaker. I am queer and that I’m a trans lady.


Christina:

I love how always there is a light pause between i am queer, it is like is it now? Would it be coming-out today?


Drew:

I absolutely realize that i am an author for Autostraddle and that I’m a filmmaker, those identities super good. Filmmaker, years and years and many years, Autostraddle, additionally planned on a long time and years. I have been an employee member for Autostraddle for a longer time than 3 years, in fact it is a bit wild. I’m not also near to one of several beginners any longer. I am the exact opposite of a newbie.


Christina:

You’re very old and wizened.


Drew:

Then again when considering gender and sexuality labels, yeah, those ideas are… that knows?


Christina:

Really, let’s see what I’ve got. I’m Christina Tucker, I am in addition an author at Autostraddle, an author for any other spots aswell, a podcaster and always some sort of homosexual lesbian kind that’s around here generating trouble and putting highlighter on. I suppose that’s what i really do in one day to day knowledge. We will perform a-game today, Drew.


Drew:

Oh, I Enjoy games.


Christina:

I favor introing it, like we do not usually play a casino game. However in respect of season 2, i needed to take you back once again to our very own traditional “Fuck, U-Haul, Ghost.” And I also wished to take action enjoyable. So I went through your Letterboxd and I, first and foremost, would wish to say congrats towards Letterboxd to be truly, gorgeously prepared. Lots of various categories, i’ve a great deal to use.


Drew:

Thanks.


Christina:

Therefore I in the morning performing three rounds of bang, U-Haul, ghost, from the a number of stars who have It.


Drew:

Ooh, great.


Christina:

I was planning to raise up your explanation and also study verbatim what your description of stars with It. Then I was like but i really could only ask Drew to share with you herself exactly what she only indicates by stars that It.


Drew:

Yeah. Really don’t remember the things I composed on Letterboxd, but I became just contemplating how discover… i believe it really, this is certainly gonna be debatable because i am aware people disagree with me on one of these men and women, but I went along to see

The Missing City

and was just like oh Channing Tatum has actually it. And despite some great, great parts in her filmography, I don’t imagine Sandra Bullock has actually it. Plus it doesn’t mean that she is bad, it doesn’t mean… I found myself just like actors which i really could watch do anything which simply have that spark that i recently wish to stare at. There are stars who’ve given a few of my personal favorite activities actually, just who In addition don’t believe means about, like Cate Blanchett. I think I maybe even say this inside the Letterboxd information.


Christina:

You say this in Letterboxd. Yeah.


Drew:

Because I want to explain that like Cate Blanchett’s wonderful and in a lot of of the best movies, but she doesn’t always have that high quality in which I would see her do just about anything. Therefore yeah. That is my personal spiel.


Christina:

Okay. Which is the spiel. Fine. Therefore we have actually, initial class is exactly what I’m calling classic. We have Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn.


Drew:

I mean, I’m clearly U-Hauling with Katharine Hepburn.


Christina:

You need to, you type need certainly to.


Drew:

That’s no concern. No offense into the feud, but Katharine Hepburn is my personal U-Haul, I would any such thing with Katharine Hepburn.


Christina:

I simply love no crime toward feud.


Drew:

Right after which… God, now i’m like I have to select however, because—


Christina:

You definitively perform is just why you think this way. Yeah.


Drew:

I’m a big lover of Joan Crawford’s and Bette Davis’. I am going to bang Joan Crawford.


Christina:

That is like the best selection


Drew:

Because of

Johnny Guitar,

virtually specifically because of

Johnny Guitar

. I am talking about, there’s lots of some other movies, but

Johnny Guitar

could be the one which i need to, that is swaying my opinion. But In my opinion of

Tiny Foxes.

No, I’m gonna— Joan Crawford.


Christina:

The fun most important factor of this game is the fact that irrespective which we present, often there is this incredibly serious representation. You always think kind of bad as though these women are gonna come and yell at you, which in fairness, i might be terrified of Joan Crawford going to yell at me personally from past.


Drew:

I am not sure. I simply had gotten only a little aroused considering that.


Christina:

Well, yeah. Terrified and turned on go in conjunction, I have found sometimes. Fine, we now have Girlies TM group, Kiki Dunst, Anne Hathaway, and Anna Paquin.


Drew:

Yet again, the U-Haul is simple for my situation. Kirsten Dunst, U-Haul simple.


Christina:

Yep. That paths.


Drew:

One of the recommended filmographies, I think, of every modern actor.


Christina:

Yeah. Types of only right bangers.


Drew:

Just great. And these types of range. And also whenever she covers the woman commitment with Jesse Plemons, it really is very nice and that simply noises beautiful. It sounds beautiful to be in a relationship with Kirsten Dunst. Anne Hathaway and Anna Paquin. See, i’d think that Anna Paquin makes much more sense becoming somebody you screw than Anne Hathaway.


Christina:

Interesting.


Drew:

But I am going to go with Anne Hathaway.


Christina:

Okay.


Drew:

In my opinion it’s simply many years of movie theater and having crushes on fellow movie theater kids which make myself therefore keen on Anne Hathaway, but i’m extremely drawn to Anne Hathaway. I am really keen on Anna Paquin, but i will choose Anne Hathaway.


Christina:

I mean, Ann Hathaway virtually looks like ding, dang, snow-white. I get it. Its variety of bonkers, there is a whole deal she’s got happening there. Okay. And from now on we’re undertaking the thing I’m contacting Legends just classification. Angela Bassett, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon.


Drew:

Oh, that’s so very hard. Oh my personal Jesus. That is so hard.


Christina:

This is really difficult. And tales are difficult, it’s hard to screw with stories or even to ghost them or perhaps to U-Haul with these people.


Drew:

Yeah. It’s hard and it is really difficult. I can’t ghost them, but…


Christina:

Just for the listeners, Drew provides registered a space of careful prayer and expression. Exactly what will she choose after that? She is making a face like i am stabbing the girl truly, very slowly.


Drew:

I recently, my very first idea was you must U-Haul with Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda was, maybe even more than Katherine Hepburn, been my lifelong crush. Everyone loves Jane Fonda much. Its challenging using proven fact that, after all, i believe Jane Fonda is actually maybe years older than… i am talking about, i understand we stated Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, thus plainly we aren’t going with today’s people, I’m assuming.


Christina:

We are not.


Drew:

So, fine. Because I was going to be love, “You will find some limitation from the age gap scenario. And I also think that Jane Fonda is actually perhaps only a little outdated.” I believe Angela Bassett and Susan Sarandon I would. I mean, I Might also Jane Fonda the tale and simply to hold on with Jane Fonda, but…


Christina:

Realistically, the woman is really various age range.


Drew:

Yeah. But I can’t ghost Jane Fonda. May I?


Christina:

Well, What i’m saying is, i cannot respond to that question. I mightn’t privately.


Drew:

Okay. I’m going to show you my personal two solutions that I’m stuck between. I do consider I have to fuck Susan Sarandon. In my opinion i can not not fuck Susan Sarandon and that I cannot determine whether I want to U-Haul with Jane Fonda or Angela Bassett. In my opinion it will be determined by the period too, appropriate? Because Jane Fonda in revolutionary French politics era is both extremely popular with me personally, additionally I don’t wish to have to hang from the pair of a Jean-Luc Godard leftist movie. That’s not fun for me personally. So, you can find caveats truth be told there. It’s this that i am stating, is that i can not ghost either of those. I cannot take action. Not that they would understand, but I genuinely cannot.


Christina:

No. In my opinion this is the appropriate response because also my abdomen in addition stated, “You have to fuck Susan Sarandon.” Something about this electricity only states that she is crazy in bed. I am not sure what it is, could not show. I recently looking for a woman and I also say she actually is crazy in the sack. And that I love that.


Drew:

Also she has great politics too. In my opinion this will be fantastic. It is not simply legend. The thing that makes a legend to me, and perhaps to you personally aswell, or perhaps you are aware it would make a legend if you ask me and also you’ve generated this video game in my situation, is the fact that not merely all are among these females probably the most appealing ladies to actually stay as well as the most skilled and just have amazing filmographies, nonetheless’re additionally politically sound.


Christina:

Yes. For this reason we picked all of them. Because I do know you.


Drew:

I mean, I shouldn’t point out that, because another person’s probably remark, “Well, did you know in 1995, blah, blah blah stated, blah, blah, blah.” And that I’m certain they will have stated terrible circumstances because they’re well-known.


Christina:

They may be real men and women. Yeah.


Drew:

Yeah. Also Susan Sarandon was at that terrible trans motion picture with the Elle Fanning playing a trans child. Therefore we know we’ve all generated errors. But in general outstanding trio. I’d love to get brunch using the three of those, sooo want to spend time with them, would like to U-Haul or fuck them.


Christina:

In my opinion that makes complete sense, and I also think We establish you in a trick manner in which will say that you mayn’t really answer that last one using parameters from the video game. You simply can’t ghost any of those females. You just can not.


Drew:

No that’d end up being outrageous.


Christina:

It really is unlawful.


Drew:

They are able to ghost me. I’d end up being honored.


Christina:

Oh God, it can be… for a browse bill from Angela Bassett, i might save yourself it for the remainder of my entire life. Will you be kidding me? In my opinion it’s the perfect time we dive into the beef for this right here ep.


Drew:

All of our subject this week is actually borders and we also have a very unique guest whom we intend to permit introduce herself.


Carmen:

Hi every person. I’m Carmen Phillips, Im the editor-in-chief of Autostraddle. We identify as queer and dark and Puerto Rican and I also reckon that’s it. Performed we protect all basics?


Christina:

That is your decision merely. You are able to say exactly what most of the bases have many ways.


Carmen:

What i’m saying is which really reasonable.


Christina:

Yeah. We are performing boundaries now. So if it felt best that you you, then it believed advisable that you all of us.


Carmen:

Correct sufficient. Okay. Those feel good limits for my situation today.


Christina:

Definitely.


Drew:

Great. Really, starting with period one, we desired to maybe you’ve on to discuss this simply because we start thinking about you a close buddy, but I also understand much less about your dating and passionate existence than just about any of my personal additional close friends. And that I think several of which as you tend to be my pal and you are clearly also though… I’m not sure. Can you state kind of my boss or my manager? Most likely just my personal supervisor.


Carmen:

I would say I found myself your boss.


Drew:

Great. Yeah. As Autostraddle moves into a significantly better boundary business, i believe you are rationally my supervisor. And thus perhaps which is element of it. I additionally do think you happen to be just someone that I’m satisfied with in the way in which you are able to end up being an author and a writer just who writes privately and brings your self into all your valuable writing in a fashion that I absolutely honor and appearance around. But you’ve got excellent borders inside work, personally i think. I feel as if you’re extremely thoughtful about what you include and what you never add. So that it was thus obvious I wanted to understand from you. I desired to take you on… Several of these are incredibly we could roast men and women. This, i wish to just learn from your own wisdom.


Carmen:

What i’m saying is, part of definitely merely personal anxiety. And therefore immediately for the listeners, just you understand, I’m sweating through this t-shirt. We’re undertaking great here. Plenty of social anxiety, that I was conquering now for this podcast, for y’all.


Christina:

We’re honored.


Drew:

I really value that.


Christina:

We really do. We really do.


Carmen:

I recently wanna allow the visitors learn where i will be so afterwards they’re not like, “Just what hell, Carmen?”


Christina:

I think they will enjoy it. Honestly, if I learn our very own readers and audience, they are going to state, “Yes, we as well realize social stress and anxiety.” I believe you are in great company within this.


Carmen:

Its into the queer person starter equipment. It really is right there.


Christina:

You need to be a little stressed, just be an impression anxious.


Carmen:

It’s how it works. Like any great very first date… Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?


Christina:

Hold off, Is It A Night Out Together? I Believe, yeah. I do believe, particularly for me thinking, Carmen, specially regarding your authorship, because i understand I really don’t create a ton of individual essays duration for Autostraddle either, but when i really do deign accomplish the personal essay, We type only vibe and I never really think of, what do i wish to feature? Exactly what don’t I want to integrate? Definitely not as to what limits do You will find abou

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